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  • Writer's pictureS. Rae

Who’s in Charge of my Thinking?

Lately I’ve spent time paying attention to who’s been doing my thinking for me. When I was a little girl I had an imaginary friend named Robin after my favorite bird. Robin and I would hang out in front of the basement door while my Grandmother cooked up a storm for all of us in the kitchen, how I miss those days.

Grandma, Robin and I had many conversations over the years while she cooked and though I don’t remember much of the conversations because I was so young, I do remember the comfortable safe feeling of sitting in that little corner with the two people I loved the most in the world.

Now when I revisit those warm wonderful memories, I think about Robin. I wonder if Robin wasn’t an invisible friend at all, but instead my higher self, and how Robin has been with me since the beginning.

The concept of a higher self is associated with several belief systems including Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, and New Age according to Wikipedia. I have often wondered when I make a good decision, like turning right instead of left because had I turned right, I would have been involved in an accident or been stuck in one, if that isn’t Robin giving me a helping hand.

When I am writing, I believe I am working through my higher self, as most of my writing is through stream of consciousness, but what about other decisions in life? Does it mean I only work through my higher self while writing, no I don’t believe so, I think my higher self is in charge much more than I realize.

Sometimes I would feel guilty (guilt is ego), when I would take time to enjoy working on a jigsaw puzzle. When in fact many blog and writing ideas have come to me while enjoying the meditative act of puzzling. Hello Robin.

While birding many times I see a bird I don’t recognize off the bat, so I grab my binoculars and pay attention to the first thought that pops into my head. That is the first bird I will look up in the field guide, because those first thoughts are Robin’s help.

During this time of preparing for Hurricane Ian, I found myself asking Robin for his help. Help to keep my mind clear, help to keep my mind calm, help to keep my fearful ego in check, and it worked every time during the preparations, but we were spared and I didn’t have to test it during the storm.

While watching regular people and even reporters covering the storm rescuing others, I understood in those moments that those caring people are working through their higher self. Not fearing for yourself to help someone in need is truly an act of heroics, and that bravery coming through regular everyday people is a sure sign somebody up there likes us.

God doesn’t work in mysterious ways, he works through all living beings, unless you think that is mysterious. For all of those effected by Hurricane Ian my heart goes out to you, and I hope you are able to find the courage and strength through your higher self to help you through these horrible times.

Carpe Diem Higher Self searchers and storm survivors.

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