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  • Writer's pictureS. Rae

Who’s At Fault?

Hello friends, I missed you last week. Family duties, but here we are again. I have a story to tell that kinda sums up things I think.


Last week while working around the house and yard I pulled my already deformed spine out again leaving me with stinging pain like hundreds of bees stinging me all at the same time. I’ve had back pain before but this is different.


So when I awoke this morning after having to work yesterday I could barely move. I spent the first couple of hours hunched over before my back decided to straighten out. I cancelled my Tia Chi/Qigong class so the only thing on my schedule was taking my friend to the car rental place; I figured I could muster through that.


Before leaving I had a craving for some comfort food and there is a Wendy’s next to the Budget/Avis. I don’t eat a lot of fast foods but in particular cases when I’m sick or injured a good old fashion burger and fries sure hits the spot. I pulled into the drive through and placed my order at the menu board, the nice sounding girl repeated the order to me twice so when I drove up to pick up my food I didn’t check the bags until I was half way home when I reached in to nibble on some fries.


To my great disappointment one bag didn’t have fries, nor did it have the second burger I ordered. The order I was getting for my friend was fine, they only screwed up mine. Angry I began cursing myself for not checking the bags at the window before I pulled away but the order was repeated back to me twice so I took it for granted it was correct, although my guides did tell me to check the bags and that’s what I get for ignoring them.


After quickly shutting down the negative self-talk my disappointment took a different turn. I started thinking did those young kids working the drive through rip me off on purpose? Did one of them eat my burger and fries or did one of them pocket the money I paid for the burger and fries? I thought about calling the manager and raising a stink but by the time I returned home that feeling had faded. If someone took the food or the money maybe they need it more than me.


Then my thoughts went to the conversation I had yesterday with my friend while playing with the dogs outside and listening to our favorite afternoon news program. I told my friend I didn’t think I could listen anymore, that I felt saturated because there isn’t any accountability. We are living in extraordinary times, but they are not always good extraordinary times. There is still plenty of good out there, I see it every day, but it’s as if I’m looking at the good through a veil of pain.


I also reflected back to an incident that happened to me when I was in the hospital for a month after my colon ruptured. I spent the first three weeks in ICU and then was moved to a room as I slowly recovered. One night I awoke to find the night nurse sitting on the edge of my bed holding a syringe and my IV line. She stood up and left when I lifted my head and asked her what she was doing.


I was very groggy and quickly fell back to sleep but the next morning I told the day nurse who was a friend what had happened and she quickly jumped on it. She later told me the nurse had been fired but not from just the hospital I was in, she had also been fired from two others. My friend feared she may have been injecting me with insulin and that was the reason I wasn’t improving as quickly as they thought I should be.


Once the nurse was fired I was home within two days. I’m convinced she was injecting me with something but I was very happy that I had a friend to help me get accountability for her bad behavior. You don’t expect nurses to try to kill you or keep you sick, you just assume, there's that word, they are there to care for you, like I assumed the girl that repeated my food order twice would have gotten it right.


Then my thoughts wondered to the people who represent us. When people campaign and tell us they are going to work hard for us we expect them to do that. We don’t expect them to have their own agenda and when they do we have to wait for their term to end before we can remove them. They can do a lot of damage before their term is up and they are voted out, kinda like my nurse. The difference between my nurse and the people we elect to office is the nurse was held accountable for her discretions.


I hope the good that I see through the veil of pain absorbs the veil and we can all see clearly again one day.


Carpe Diem to those who see the good and hope for the human race and the planet.

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